I’m Still Alive, Everyone! Don’t Fret!

Sorry for my absence, everyone! It has been such a crazy couple weeks. I couldn’t even explain it all in one sitting. Needless to say, however, I am working very diligently on the site. It’s a long process, though, and to explain why it’s difficult for me, let me get personal with you for a second. Let me tell you who I am.

Hi! My name is Eric. I’m 23 years old. I live in Houston, TX, where I lift boxes at a bookstore and tell all kinds of ribald, sometimes disturbing jokes to my co-workers all day. I do not have any particular training in writing, computer programming, or anything approaching professional skills. I am doing this new website with the help of my good friend Steven, but trying to come up with the design, the content, and the time to do it all is quite difficult at times. I’m slowly getting the hang of it, but I want to make this a cool place, and I think it’s worth losing some buzz for the sake of a better product. I’m not a tech-savvy guy, I’m not a columnist for Variety, I’m just some dude who is self-taught in the art of being Eric, and I’m trying to make something really special for everyone to bask in!

So here’s what’s going down this week; I will be testing out some new reviews on you folks, including my music review for Bon Iver’s “For Emma, Forever Ago”, a review of the new George Clooney vehicle Up In The Air, and possibly some others as they come up! And don’t forget to catch up with me on 366 Weird Movies, where I’ll have reviews up this week from an indie film called Satan Hates You as well as the new Terry Gilliam film, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus! Keep up with me, and we’ll have wonderful times together this week, I promise! And all the while, I’ll continue work on my new digital home! Until then!!!

So What’s Next, Eric!?!?!?!??!?!

Well, guys, after my first day away from the computer in a year, I can say that I don’t exactly miss writing 1000 words a day. But I do miss interacting with you fine people and giving you the scoop! So, I’m sure we’re all wondering, “WHEN’S THAT NEW SITE GONNA BE DONE, ERIC?!”, and the answer to that question is “soon”. We’re still working out some kinks on http://ifreviewscouldkill.com, doing some fine tuning, and putting the bitch together. But as we speak I am coming up with new segments, articles, and content for YOU!

Here are two new segments of the site I’m working on right now:

MUSIC!- I’ll probably call it the Sonar Club, Music For Cool People, or Ear-gasms. Feel free to drop me a good name for the segment, but I’ll be doing CD reviews both old and new, retrospectives on bands, and stuff about that wonderful noise that makes the world go round. First stop: a little band called Bon Iver gets their critical comeuppance!!!

CULTURE!- Whether it’s called Pretty Little Things, What’s The Deal With That?, The Culture In Revolt, or Things I Say About Things You Do, it will be a segment concerning the culture in America and abroad, as much as I can find, and as much as you’re willing to put up with. I’ll be looking back, to the future, and BEYOND!!!!!!! My first tinkering will be a look back at everyone’s favorite children’s show, David the Gnome!

As I said, I’m working ever so diligently on that stuff, but I don’t have anything new JUST yet. Instead of waiting for some new stuff, go back a few months and peruse the lovely selection of previous reviews; surely you didn’t read ALL of them, did you?