Transformers 2 Apparently Sucks WAY Worse Than The First One! Congratulations, Michael Bay, You’ve Reached A Whole New Level Of Shame!

24 06 2009

Ouch. Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch. I have rarely read worse reviews for such a huge summer blockbuster. Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen is, by all accounts, one of the most highly anticipated movies of the summer (by people who were FUCKING INSANE enough to think that the first one was worth more than robot piss). So it gives me great, great pleasure to announce that the reviews are in, and, as I anticipated, it sucks worse than even I could have imagined. Congratulations to Michael Bay for having the courage to put testicles on a robot and for putting on a mechanical minstrel show with a “black” Transformer. It’s rare that I get to see this man disgrace himself more than usual, but when it happens it is ever so sweet. Now, as a layman and a fierce proletariat, I have not the money to waste on a movie that I am assured by 90% of those who saw it was abominable. But here are some links to some other reviewers who had some choice and excellent words to say about this embarrassment on wheels! And don’t forget to check out my review on the original Transformers, which looks now like a haunting prediction of the not-so-distant future!!! And keep in mind that all these reviewers were impressed by the first one! Imagine what would happen if I walked into the theater; it’d be like looking into the Ark of The Covenent! My face would melt and I would just crumple up!

My top 3:

Roger Ebert’s One-Star Review!!!

USA Today’s Un-Flattering Piece!!!

Massawyrm’s Transformers Hate-Fest!!!

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